Thank you for this reflection. It’s thoughtful and thought-provoking. I wonder if modernity doesn’t make writers feel shame because of assumptions that writing isn’t “real”. I also wonder if there might not be a link between shame and creativity. Something to do with needing to express what we cover up. But you’re right: it is often destructive and inhibiting.
You are spot on, Thomas. Some of us have been told our work isn't real work. Some of us have been told to put away such things and get a "real job" or that we'll never succeed, or that if we have succeeded it will never happen again. This can be said by people close to us, or by some random person who is a little angry at a recent success of ours and call us a "flash in the pan". It's unnecessary and hurtful.
Your second point is also a good one. Do we write in order to find an acceptable vehicle in which to communicate all that we dare not say? Probably yes, but not always. Maybe we write while raging or crying. Maybe we sometimes write while laughing. I talk to myself when I write, too. Or rather, I speak the dialogue. I read every word of mine aloud many times before publication.
I get a little uncomfortable when writers and writing teachers insist on a particular process for writing as though anything less is "unprofessional". I think it's nonsense. I don't care how you write. Bats give birth upside down. Someone want to tell them that it's not the "right way" to do that? :)
Thank you for talking about this very real and often very damaging thing. When I think about the amount of amazing writing that shame might have stopped from getting into the world I feel so sad/frustrated. Thank you for being so real and honest, it really helps!
Loved hearing this in your voice Marti. Such an honest, relatable piece. I'm researching creative self-worth at the moment and ways we can keep on coming unstuck. It feels like complex, but essential, work.
I started publishing in the early 90's and have been all over the map with it. Not much I haven't experienced by way of books, I must admit. It's a subject I've had time to think about but very little opportunity to share with other writers except close friends, so it's great to have this community to share with.
Preaching to the choir here. So much shame in my life. Not all of it associated with writing, specifically (rejections,etc.) but it has strangled me in every way possible. Thank you for sharing this.
It's as though you were writing me a note. I feel that rejection shame deeply to the point of abandoning writing for multiple months in sheer doubt and shame. I still feel it, even after reading this, but I'm trying to hard to figure things out.
Does it help to know you are in the best of company? Really, I know people right up and down the success ladder and we are all a bit the same in this one way.
Oh, it does! I see even my most accomplished writer friends struggle constantly, which then heaps on my own guilt for complaining. I just need to restore my craft as I've let the shame take over these last couple months in one of those needless identity crisis phases.
Thank you for this reflection. It’s thoughtful and thought-provoking. I wonder if modernity doesn’t make writers feel shame because of assumptions that writing isn’t “real”. I also wonder if there might not be a link between shame and creativity. Something to do with needing to express what we cover up. But you’re right: it is often destructive and inhibiting.
You are spot on, Thomas. Some of us have been told our work isn't real work. Some of us have been told to put away such things and get a "real job" or that we'll never succeed, or that if we have succeeded it will never happen again. This can be said by people close to us, or by some random person who is a little angry at a recent success of ours and call us a "flash in the pan". It's unnecessary and hurtful.
Your second point is also a good one. Do we write in order to find an acceptable vehicle in which to communicate all that we dare not say? Probably yes, but not always. Maybe we write while raging or crying. Maybe we sometimes write while laughing. I talk to myself when I write, too. Or rather, I speak the dialogue. I read every word of mine aloud many times before publication.
I get a little uncomfortable when writers and writing teachers insist on a particular process for writing as though anything less is "unprofessional". I think it's nonsense. I don't care how you write. Bats give birth upside down. Someone want to tell them that it's not the "right way" to do that? :)
More good points for me to think about, Marti. Thank you! (And I love your point about bats!)
Thank you for talking about this very real and often very damaging thing. When I think about the amount of amazing writing that shame might have stopped from getting into the world I feel so sad/frustrated. Thank you for being so real and honest, it really helps!
Thank you for saying that. 💕 Sadly, I believe you are 100% right about how many writers are stopped by shame.
Loved hearing this in your voice Marti. Such an honest, relatable piece. I'm researching creative self-worth at the moment and ways we can keep on coming unstuck. It feels like complex, but essential, work.
I started publishing in the early 90's and have been all over the map with it. Not much I haven't experienced by way of books, I must admit. It's a subject I've had time to think about but very little opportunity to share with other writers except close friends, so it's great to have this community to share with.
Written from inside my head.
😅
Preaching to the choir here. So much shame in my life. Not all of it associated with writing, specifically (rejections,etc.) but it has strangled me in every way possible. Thank you for sharing this.
I just started reading your work here on Substack (I'll return to it shortly). You've really had a time of it!
It's as though you were writing me a note. I feel that rejection shame deeply to the point of abandoning writing for multiple months in sheer doubt and shame. I still feel it, even after reading this, but I'm trying to hard to figure things out.
Does it help to know you are in the best of company? Really, I know people right up and down the success ladder and we are all a bit the same in this one way.
Oh, it does! I see even my most accomplished writer friends struggle constantly, which then heaps on my own guilt for complaining. I just need to restore my craft as I've let the shame take over these last couple months in one of those needless identity crisis phases.
Your craft looked very much intact in the poem I read. I'll be cheering for you to shrug off all shame and write your way free of any self-doubt. x
You’re kind to say that! Thanks. For whatever reason, the poetry happens even when it’s a struggle. But the fiction just deflates.
I find both of them equally exhausting but maybe poetry is your first love?
Ironically it’s the opposite, though I can’t explain why poetry is often therapeutic and fiction is self-flagellation.